If Mercury estate goes ape over gorilla, what will it do to THIS?

Here's a riposte to those humourless humanoids who represent Freddie (Queen) Mercury's estate, from some talented sympathisers with Go Go Gorilla who have plundered Bohemian Rhapsody in their parodies [for a background to this strange opening, see "Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? No rhapsody over Go Go Gorilla", here].

Three of the IPKat's most talented readers have risen to meet the challenge Merpel who said:

"Wouldn't it be fun if anyone could come up with a good parody of Bohemian Rhapsody in which, instead of shooting a man, the man confesses to taking out a sprayed gorilla ..."

This Kat would like to express his deep gratitude to these three authors who, quite possibly during normal working hours and no doubt at risk to life and limb, took the time and trouble to write the following verses.  He very much hopes that the Mercury Men will be reading this blog post and that they will blush scarlet with shame. Their assault on the integrity of this noble gorilla, a protected species no less, is the sort of thing that gives intellectual property rights a bad name among the public at large and does much to forfeit their support in the fight to combat counterfeits and real infringements.

Here's the first, from Graham T.

Is this for real man?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a law suit
No escape from similarity.
Open your eyes
Look at my clothes and see!
I’m just a rich boy, I need no parody
Cos they’re my image rights, are not free;
Mean a lot, to me
Anyway the dosh comes, doesn’t really matter to me, to me 

Mama I’ve killed again
Threat of court; writ of lead
Pulled my trigger, gorilla’s dead
[Mama, rep. had just begun
But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn’t mean to make you cry]
But if I’ve not won this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, this really really matters to me. 

Too late, the damage’s done
Send shivers down my spine
Reputation undermined.
Goodbye everybody – I’ve got to go
Gotta pull the plug and face the truth
Mama ooo (it’s the way the wind blows)
I break down and cry
I sometimes wish I’d never started this at all 

I see a Go Go gorilla bearing down
Scaramouch, scaramouch will he do the fandango?
Thunderbolt and lightening – very very frightening to me!
GoG’rilla, GoG’rilla,
GoG’rilla, GoG’rilla,
Gorilla Figaro – magnifico! 

I’m just a rich boy, now nobody loves me
He’s just a rich boy protecting monopoly
Saving his rights from this ‘monstrosity’!
Sleazy Go sleazy Go – will you pay me owt?
Gorilla! No – we will not pay you owt – pay him owt
Gorilla! We will not pay you owt – pay him owt
Gorilla! We will not pay you owt – pay him owt
Will not pay you owt – pay him owt (never)
Never pay you owt – pay you owt
Never pay you owt – ooo
No, no, no, no, no, Go, Go –
Oh mama mia, mama mia, got to pay me loads
Beelzebub will put damages aside for me,
For me
For me! 

So you think you can copy me and spit in my eye
So you think you can mock me and say goodbye
Oh no way – can’t do this no way
Just gotta get out – just gotta get the rights out from me here 

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Rights really matter
Anyone can see
Rights really matter – rights really matter to me!
(it’s the way the wind blows…)

************************************** 

The second is by anonymous lyricist ... 

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Is sprayed gorilla
My escape from reality?
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just an artist, I make colour symphonies
Because I've got spray gun, good to go
Spraying high, spraying low
Anyway the paint flows, it does really matter to me, to me 

Mama, just sprayed an ape
Put a spray gun to the fellow
Pulled my trigger, now he’s yellow
Mama, life had just begun
Now Fred’s copyright has blown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make them cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Such a big carry on, over nothing that really matters 

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Courts will hit me with big fine
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the paint flows)
I cannot tell a lie
I sometimes wish I'd never sprayed at all 

I see a great big silhouetto of an ape
Freddie M., Freddie M., with your lawyers we’ll tangle
Flying writs, court fighting – very, very dear QC
Looking silly, big gorilla
Go figure-oh-oh-oh-oh
I'm just an artist, everyone loves me
He's just an artist, feeding his family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Gorilla! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Gorilla! We will not let you go - let him go
Gorilla! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Freddie lawyers, Freddie lawyers, Freddie lawyers, let me go
This yellow flub made a devil of a time for me
for me, for meeeeeeeee
So you think you can sue me and injunctify
Strip my gorilla, my colours shanghai?
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here 

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Paint job really matters
Anyone can see
Paint job really matters – paint job really matters to me
Anyway the paint flows...

************************************** 

... as is the third

Is this an art work?
Is this just parody?
Sprayed in a landslide
Now it's there for posterity 

Open your eyes
A word to the wise... you'll see see
He's just a version, of Freddie Mercury
Because he's got the look, got the tash
Yellow top, t-shirt's Flash 

Anyway you view it, doesn't really matter to Queen, to Queen
M'lud, just sprayed an ape
Thought he's make a gorgeous pet
Now he's viral on the net
M'lud, it's was just some fun
But now they say I've got to pay 

M'lud, ooo
Didn't mean to breach his rights
And I sought advice if it was false endorsement
Carry on, carry on, is what the lawyer told me 

Too late, my simian
Sends shivers down their spine
Journos calling all the time
Goodbye my gorilla - he's got to go
Cos I can't afford the fees to state my case 

M'lud, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to pay
I sometimes wish I'd picked Hendrix instead.. carry on, carry on.. is what the lawyers told me 

I see an arty vignetto of a man
The Moustache, the moustache is the problematic feature Problematic feature, even on a creature YES! 

A gorilla, berengei,
A gorilla, berengei,
A gorilla - magnifico 

But I'm just a poor ape and nobody loves me
He's just a rip off, sign of poor artistry
Spare him his life from zoroastronomy
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Gorilla! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Gorilla! We will not let you go - let him go
Gorilla! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh Tanzania, Tanzania, Tanzania let me go
Diana Fossey has a refuge put aside for me
for me
for me 

So you think you can sue me, a writ my oh my
So you think you'll enjoin me and leave me to die
Oh baby - independent creation won't save me
I gotta pull out - and then claim on my lawyer's PI

Ooh (ooh ooh!!) yeah, ooh yeah
Image really matters
Anyone can see
I should have chose a random - I should have done the Bee Gee called Barry
Anyway the wind blows...